Children Keep Asking to Go Home
To Whom It May Concern,
I sent a letter on June 1, 2020, to you and more than 3000 other people. I would be very grateful if you would take a look at where my family and I are now. If you know anyone that can help us, I am begging you to send them this letter or let me know what I need to do.
My youngest daughter, EHW, has turned four in the system and started pre-K, and my heart is broken that I, her mother, was not with her for these precious moments. I get two phone calls with her a week for 30 minutes, and I get one three-hour, in-person, supervised weekly visit. She is still my warm, beautiful little girl who has now moved to her third foster home. It took two prior homes for her to be placed with foster parents who seem to be kind to her. It is a relief to no longer have to hear about her fear, sadness, or pain being with people who hurt her. Her only pain now is not understanding why her mother will not take her home, and I am not allowed to tell her that I am trying because this is considered talking about the case and is not allowed. So I am to let her believe that I am doing nothing to get her back with me. She always tells me how much she wants to come home and be with me and daddy, and she misses her brother. I have been forced to send her back to two different homes over the past five months where Ellah reported that they were mean to her, spanked her, yelled at her, and made her cry over and over again. She was constantly covered in bruises and only three years old.
ECW is my second youngest. He is not with his little sister in the system even though I was told the children would remain together. Six months into this they still can’t put my babies together. Elandith has started first grade without me, had his sixth birthday without his family and friends, and has now regressed to the “terrible two” stage where he is throwing tantrums, screaming, and hurting inside. The only reason I can see for this is that his heart is broken. He asks me constantly why his older brother is home and he is not. He wants to know why daddy and I won’t take him home, and once more I am not allowed to soothe my son and tell him the truth, that we are trying. I get two 30-minute phone calls weekly and one three-hour supervised visit a week. Last week, my beautiful, six-year-old boy laid on my lap for two hours, and all he could say to me is he wished every day was Friday because that means he would be with me every day. When I asked him if there’s anything he needed or wanted, he said, “I need you.” He doesn’t understand of course why he can’t come home. He doesn’t understand why his brother Elijah gets to be home with us. He doesn’t understand
Why Elanah, his sister, doesn’t want anything to do with him. And the state has removed my power to support him, talk to him, and explain the world to my child. Instead, I am to stay silent or lie. How does a mother do this?
There is so much more I could say concerning the care of my babies since they were removed. I am so very confused as to why they were removed from my care only to be put into pain, abuse, and confusion. My children have undergone irrevocable damage because the State thought they offered better care than my children received in their home with parents who love them. How is this right? How is this legal? They were removed due to unproven allegations of abuse and neglect with no evidence only to be put in places where they have been abused physically, mentally, and emotionally. Now they have been neglected, abandoned, confused, alone, and hurt during their key and very crucial years of emotional and psychological development. Four years old and six years old are very important times in a person’s life. It is when you learn what love is. I love my children. I adore my children. I carried those children, and I gave birth to those children. I have spent every waking minute of their life kissing bobos and wiping tears, holding hands, and giving them safety and security and well-being. All of this was taken from me and them. The system has destroyed all of our lives and possibly permanently damaged their futures.
I have never, ever done any of the things that I was accused of doing. My husband has never done any of the things that he was accused of. The affidavit that this case is based on, the reason CPS chose to remove my children is completely untrue. I was told yesterday that I am naïve because I believe that the truth matters. When did the world become such a place? I have never experienced such gaslighting and from my own government no less! Every single thing I have said or done has been twisted and turned by CPS through family court, from false statements, made up stories, point-blank lies, and allegations. The most aggravating aspect is that all the proof I have to show that my home is not dangerous was given to the court but never entered as evidence! The services I was required to complete were used to show guilt rather than compliance! I am at a loss, and I am looking for help. What happened to innocent till proven guilty?
ELW has turned 16 in the system. I have not been allowed to talk to her at all, and therefore, I cannot speak to her safety or wellbeing. The last time I got to speak to her was in the sheriff’s department in March when I went to pick her up after she ran away to be with a boy. That is when she told me that she was three months pregnant. The State has since told me she is not pregnant, had an IUD placed in her body, and was placed in psychiatric care, and was put on SSRIs. My daughter has never been medicated before! I tried to send her baby pictures and letters telling her how much I love her and want her to come home. That too was used against me by CPS stating that my interactions and attempts were negatively affecting my daughter and causing an unhealthy emotional state. So now I am told I cannot even love my own daughter or reach out to her in any way. She was on track to go to A&M and had a very promising future. Now, she may be lost completely, and there is nothing I can do. This is torture for a mother who wanted the very best for her daughter.
I will again state that my daughter, at 15, ran away, to a different town, with a boy who is legally an adult and whose parents harbored her as a runaway for 14 days! The sheriff’s department would not give me the information to file statutory rape charges or harboring a runaway charge. The state came to interview my child and informed me that I could not bring her home, yet they put in the report that they kept the child due to the inability to find the parents. I was sitting in the room waiting for them! I was there an hour and a half before they were!
This week we are at six months that my children have been in the system. I am so deeply grateful that my 14-year-old son was sent home in May, but I still have three children sitting in foster care for no reason. I have three children who need their mother and father, who have futures and desires and wants, and I cannot find anyone single person who has the power to help me! I am not guilty! My husband is not guilty! I am far from perfect. I have made many mistakes in my life, but I chose 20 years ago to be a parent, and I have given every waking moment of my life to give my children every opportunity to succeed. I am loving, and I am what is in the best interest of the children. We are what is in the best interest of the children!
I have had three appointed attorneys. My husband has had two court-appointed attorneys and two paid attorneys, and now we are out of money trying to fight this. My 14- year-old has had two court-appointed attorneys. My four and six-year-old have had two court-appointed attorneys. Everything has been done on zoom, so no real emotion or sense of humanity has been experienced, just faces on screens.
I am not coming to you because of all the pain that has been endured by my children, my husband, or me. I’m coming to you because everybody keeps talking about the best interest of the children. Where did the government go wrong? Do you think foster care is in the best interest of the children? Multiple strangers, multiple homes, multiple rules, spirit-crushing physical abuse, brainwashing through censored communication and lies, and emotional tug-o-war is what is now considered in the best interest of the children?
I’m only one person. I am just a mom, so I am coming to you as a mom, as a woman who has no criminal record. I have now taken five negative drug tests, three domestic violence courses, eight therapy sessions, a four-hour parenting course, and I am still no closer to a resolution.
My husband and I are innocent of all allegations. The truth is plain and simple. The facts are plain and simple. Sadly my 15, now 16-year-old daughter ran away and made up a story so big as to ensure her autonomy from parental control so she can do what she wants. All my love and bending to her will did not give her more opportunities in life. It made her headstrong and resistant to authority. I have made a mistake. I no longer know what she wants, only that, according to the State, she doesn’t want to be here with her family. Her stories are so big that CPS came and took away the children who do want to be here, with mom and dad.
We’ve been in the same neighborhood going on seven years. They have gone to all the same schools. I was talking to my son’s, friend’s mother, who is also a teacher at the school where all three of my children have attended throughout the past six years, and when I told her the story of what has happened, tears came to her eyes. She told me she was so sorry. She has known our family for so many years, and there has never been anything she has ever seen or heard to raise an alarm about our family.
I may be naïve to believe in truth, right and wrong, good and bad, but it’s who I am, and I have to believe there are good people in this world. I have to believe the truth does matter! I can give you school records, doctor records, screenshots of text messages showing that my daughter was planning on running away, that my daughter was seeing an older boy, and my daughter was doing things to hurt herself and her future. We had no idea what was going on in her world. Teenagers and their understanding of technology allow them to live lives completely separate from who they are and do it all from the privacy of their bedroom. She was such a talented academic and goal-oriented child, I never thought to check her phone for the type of behavior that was uncovered after she left.
My guilt is always trusting that my daughter was making the right choices and telling the truth. I don’t see the light at the end of this tunnel. I have learned how corrupt, misguided, unfair, and damaging Family Court and CPS are. No one wants the truth. They just want to be right. I am a fighter, and I have fought for my children. This has not shown my love. Instead, it has been seen as insubordinate behavior and a further reason to dig in their heels and refuse the release of my babies. MY BABIES. How can they take and keep my own children? No one is fighting for us. I am only told to obey, comply, and maybe I’ll have a chance at a trial. While each act of obedience and compliance takes a piece of my soul, it also gives them one more thing to use against me. I am punished if I fight, and I am punished if I acquiesce. Everything is used to benefit the removal of my children regardless of the truth. The court statements and the reports that have been filed in this case infuriate me! Every day something else happens in this case. Even if it was meant to help us get our children back, it has simply made it easier for everyone else to flip our lives upside down and tear our children away from us.
The damage that has been done this far, if it’s at all possible to ever be repaired, will take a lifetime of pouring love into my children and constantly proving that I do want them and did fight for them. I am watching the spirit of joy, love, security, and safety be drained out of my four-year-old and my six-year-old. This is so grossly wrong. The truth should matter. They say the truth shall set us free. The truth should save us; however, nobody cares about the truth. Nobody will even listen to the truth.
They keep saying that my husband and I are criminals, yet no criminal charges have been pressed. What’s criminal are the allegations, the fantastical stories of a 16-year-old who does not want to be grounded or reprimanded for disturbing sexual acts, running away, and has now dug a hole so deep, she cannot see a way out of it. If 10% of the allegations she’s made were true, charges would’ve been pressed, and we would be in jail. The fact that my husband and I are sitting in our home doing everything in our power to get our kids back should speak volumes. The people my daughter has accused us of being would not be making any effort to restore their family. We are not those people.
I am asking anyone who believes in right and wrong, good and bad, innocent until proven guilty to please hear my cry! Please look at this case that has had over 62 people involved who all seem to be just covering up what the last person did to benefit the department and save everybody’s jobs. They all know there are mistakes, lack of procedure, and gross negligence on the part of the department. They all know there have been direct perjuries in court, and no one wants to be the whistleblower. No one wants to get these people fired or actually put in jail for these crimes. So, they keep passing us around to new people who repeat what has already been said with no digging into the truth.